The Little Details
They say the small details are what makes you fall in love with someone, but what happens when those details are a deal-breaker?
Last year I meet a guy who had just recently graduated from medical school as a nurse. He was really cute, I was planning to invite him to join me and my friends for a pre-birthday dinner, but he decided meeting for coffee was more of a safe approach, and so we went.
I arrived a little late. He was waiting seated on a bench. As I approached him I noticed he was holding something in his hands, a sort of envelope and two chocolate candies. I hugged him, then we proceed to get inside the cafe and order.
I couldn’t help but wonder what he had inside that envelope, but before I could start imagining what might be, he handed it to me. I was a little surprised at first, after all, it was just our first date and he already had given me a gift. Was I supposed to bring one too?
Of course, it all made sense later when he told me it was a birthday present since he wasn’t sure we were going to see each other later that date, he thought it could be a nice detail to bring something to give.
Inside the envelope was a card he had written himself. I was so touched. But also felt a little odd, like I was been given a third-grade boy’s Happy Mother’s Day card.
As I read through the letter, suddenly had to make a stop. Not only did he give me a third-grade boy’s card. It was written by a third-grader. Right there, the misspelling of a word, “your” instead of “you’re”.
I didn’t say anything at that moment, how could I? But later that night, the question hunt me like crazy: was bad grammar such a big turn off for me? And if that, can poor grammar have an impact on our dating success?
Misspelling a word can seem like a little detail one could spare off when getting to know someone, everyone makes a couple of mistakes when writing an important email or let alone posting something on social media. I even tend to omit the period at the end of a sentence whenever answering a text message. But, are those single details communicating to others that we might be “lazy” or “just don’t care” about details like grammar? Where exactly do we draw the line? Should you go back and correct that tiny typo, or play it cool?
He and I never got to the second date. Later I found out he was dating someone else, and now he’s in a relationship with that person. The whole thing made me feel like a somehow overreacted about such a small detail. And pop the question: am I a grammar-obsessed dater? I asked my good friend about it, she told me people are more complex than periods and exclamation points and that I shouldn’t be nit-picking about things like that. After all, you’re supposed to date the person, not their grammar. But even though that might be true, aren’t the people we choose to date a reflection of what we think we deserve? If we date someone sloppy in things like writing correctly, do we perceive ourselves that way? And, for that matter, could that same person be sloppy in other areas of life?
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